The days are long but the years are short.

This saying always seems like such a cliche! Yeah, yeah, the days are long but the years are short. But as I sit here and contemplate school starting, our first baby starting middle school, our actual baby starting third grade, and our perfectly timed middle starting fourth grade, I am reminded of how fast the time is slipping through our fingers.

I've been consumed the last few months with work and letting them enjoy summer. Sometimes so consumed that I've forgotten to enjoy summer with them! There's no going now. Back to the grind we go.

I've often heard people talk about mom guilt and I've never quite felt it like I do this year. I love them and I want them with me all the time. But I need space! They (now more than ever) need space. I want them to be independent but seeing that independence becoming their norm and them not needing me is heart wrenching yet freeing at the sane time. No one warned of the tug of war that watching these babies grow up would cause within my mom heart. Letting go is painful. Letting them make mistakes and helping them learn from those mistakes is hard. Watching them experience friendship struggles, seeing big and real emotions show up in their still tiny bodies and witnessing them deal with life is like an out of body experience. In my mind, they are all still toddlers. Contemplating what character fork they want to use for lunch, testing their sipping cup lids leak proof properties and launching Cheerios from their high chairs to see how far they go!

I've always felt like I'm not ready for the next phase, the preteen and teenage years. But as it plows its way into our lives I'm trying to embrace it and love it as much as I did their toddler years. Grappling with all of life's changes is sometimes almost more than I can bear. But seeing them and who they are becoming as people is just a new sense of wonder from watching them learn to walk and talk.

I hope we can all have Grace with each other as we navigate this next phase ❤️

Signed,

An imperfect mom trying to get it right 😉